Alot of people have been asking me what's it like now that i'm married? or "how's married life"

Usually my reply, as a typical chinese, is.. "it's ok..." or "ok lah..."

but i remember the same question i posted to kok soon about 3 years ago after he married jamie. He gave me an answer i'll never forget, and today, i think i'm starting to feel what he said is very true too.

What's it like after married? you feel that now you're nolonger 1 person. Whatever you do, you have to consider the other person. Because, as the bible says, 2 shall become one. I think that's very true, a fact of life indeed. Now, whatever i do, i do have to consider siao lee in my mind too, not just the major decisions of life but also daily schedules. Like what to do during the weekend, if one of us is interested in doing something yet the other we know isn't that interested, do we forgo it for the other person? or go alone? what to eat? even sometimes.. dressing nicer for the other :)

All are considered i guess. After all, we do want the other to be happy when we're together :)

One of the Major decisions we've started talking is of course, starting a family and buying our own property.. i know most of you guys are very "interested" in the family topic.. but i shall put more weight on the property topic.

Many have said that we're very blessed since we're staying at our "own" property now.

Well i'm very thankful that we're very very blessed, though God, though many other people that we love and loves us. Yet still it's a tricky situation sometimes that our line isn't that clear. Sometimes, i do hope our line is clearer.

What do i mean by this? Well.. do we own our "own" property? yes and no..

No.. because we didn't buy it.
Yes.. because we have the space as our own property.

It's just not that clear i guess.. we've been touching on this topic even before we've got married. Now that i have a car to pay, buying a property seems further and further for the moment. Not to mention when we get our SLK (small little kid), that's gonna cost even more. But still, that's a dream that we would like to achieve as soon as we could.

Ponder upon this thought, i began comparing my friends around and even in older times. The general goal / expectation of people in our generation is..
1. have own car (50~80k)
2. have own property (200~400k)
3. get married (20~50k)
4. by 35 or so.. you should at least have a kid or 2.. and point 1 and 2.. hopefully..(XXX~XXXk)

With inflation and unstable economy setting in, point 2 seems to be a harder and harder goal to achieve. Even some of my other friends who's either
1. bought a property
2. thinking of buying one.. is feeling the pinch.

General installment per month (of course depends on how much you wanna loan and your term) is approx 1300 ~ 2000. With that in mind, 1st question is..
1. Can we afford it?
2. Even if we can afford it, should we zero our monthly savings in order to do it?
3. should we do it?

most of us are stuck at question 1 i guess.. even those few lucky ones who are stuck at question 2 feel the strain of economy too. Those rare few that are very blessed that can answer questions 1 and 2 with a strong yes who are stuck at question 3.. well you're on top of the pyramid :)

I hope that within 5~10 years time, i can answer all 3 questions with a strong YES. least that's my goal :)

Other thing i heard today was from one of my friends, she said something very good. She and her fiance are thinking of buying a house, and the fiance insisted in paying the whole installment himself. Point he was making was that, "if he couldn't afford to pay the whole house himself, then  they shouldn't be getting it"

I'd thought that's very brave and mature of him to think that way. it's a very good guideline too i'd say.

Indeed, our lives are very diff now compared to last time. i think even my parents are starting to see the difference between the times. Last time they use to say.. "during our time we had to do everything ourselves without our parents help..." how independent they are... or how strong they were.. but seeing the situation today, it is really almost impossible to achieve all the "dos" of life below the age 35 or 40 even maybe..


Of course, this is only malaysia's situation. If you compare this to singapore, or US, or Australia, it's a complete different situation. Some might wish that they would work at some other place where the pay is alot better. Well most would i guess. But hey.. we choose where we wanna work. There are times i do really wish i can move to US with siao lee and have a comfortable life there. Maybe within 10-20 years, i can even move my whole family + siao lee's family there.. but then, things wouldn't be the same i guess. Things will never be the same.

Life's interesting isn't....

Time flies.. so fast it's almost end of march already. Besides the big things like our wedding drawing closer and closer, i think it's exciting that people are coming together. My relatives that are from out of town, most of them have confirmed whether they'll be able to make it back or not. On my mum's side, i believe all are coming. It's really surprising for me. The last time we actually had such a gathering was at my grandpa's 70th bday i think... he's 84 now i think...This time, all the aunties and uncles + their children are coming.. well i'm actually the youngest in my generation on my mum's side. so.. no little kids running about. We've always wanted our wedding to be more then just a wedding. I firmly believe that God can use it to much greater heights. One thing would be just bringing my mum's family side together. To me, that's like a double big blessing, priceless event. 2 uncles + aunties in States, 1 more from HK, grandparents that's in their 80+ and fit to travel 3-4 hours on the plane, cousins that's working across the globe taking time off to come.. it's all priceless i'd say.

I was actually thinking.. oh no,, do we need to do extra family photo..?? how bout extra meal?? my mum's side only meal?? all that kind of stuff.. i told siao lee about it, she was very supportive of me :) . then i asked my mum.. my mum was like.. wedding day itself enough already, no need do extra stuff... haha.. guess i "tuo chi yi ju" here..
all in all, even the small little things for our weddings are all done. Siao lee finally got her nice little kenari :) i must say i'm pretty impress with the car, very nice to drive. Especially a car that's shorter then my car.. very much more relaxing..

Sometimes i do stop to think thoguh.. what's next after the wedding? i'm looking forward to see what God has planned for me after the wedding, for us as a married couple. Many of our friends around too i'm sure. I don't forsee us having a "peaceful" life :P i'm sure we're gonna get very busy. All the church stuff going on and new CG members we're getting. Everyone of you guys are a great blessing :)


well time's ticking. .Kok soon asked on sunday that am i counting down to my wedding.. is it less tehn 100 days to go.. to answer his question....

It is 116 days, 2 hours, 47  minutes and 35  seconds until Saturday, July 19, 2008 (Kuala Lumpur time)

Current time is

2008-03-24 21:12:25 (local time in Kuala Lumpur)